


Leaves After the Fall

by Chrononautical



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8317918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrononautical/pseuds/Chrononautical
Summary: When red leaves fall they don't just rot and die. They become nourishment for the new, fresh leaves. Burning deep crimson doesn't mean burning out. Guy goes home after the war.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After reading Kakashi's Story I found myself wondering about a different take on Guy's injuries. Given the many dramatic medical interventions in Naruto, I wanted to play with something a little more interesting than a shattered leg. Please see the notes at the end if you have any questions about the dub-con tag, though I don't think it's serious enough to rate an archive warning.

Guy didn’t hate the wheelchair. In the past, he’d always felt more than a little resentful about casts and crutches. His preference was to heal quickly and throw things like that away as soon as possible to build his strength back up by overcoming his infirmities. Things were different for him now. He didn’t need a doctor to tell him that, though many of them had tried. 

“Your body is completely fine,” Shizune had said compassionately. “That last surgery repaired the tissue damage to your left leg. In another few weeks even the most skilled medics won’t be able to tell that you were injured. The problem is your chakra network. The eight gates were completely burned out, well seven of them at any rate. Your bones and muscles are in good shape, but you don’t have the energy to move them. The chakra network is difficult to heal in the best of circumstances, and injuries to it are less common than other types of damage, so our medical knowledge at this time does not extend far enough to help you.” 

“It would help if we knew how that idiot managed to stop your eighth gate from closing,” Sakura had said factually. “He was completely useless, though.” She looked down at her clipboard. “And I quote, ‘You know when there’s like, a fire, or like a candle or something, and it’s about to go out? Well I just, kind of, well I sort of stopped it from going out, you know? Like I blew on it? Maybe? It’s really complicated, Sakura, you probably wouldn’t understand.’ As if I’m the one who doesn’t understand basic anatomy! Anyway, I’m sorry, Guy-sensei. I’m not giving up. Lee has been helping me make a detailed study of the exact physical processes that the body undergoes during the eight gates technique. We don’t fully understand the chakra network yet, but that doesn’t mean we never will.” 

“The fact that you’re alive is a miracle,” Lady Tsunade had said, easing herself into a chair next to Guy’s hospital bed and watching the birds flutter past the window, ducking between the barren branches of the winter trees. “Still, I learned a long time ago not to discount miracles where you and your disciple are concerned. The doctors here can’t do anything for you. Probably you’ll spend the rest of your life pushing too hard and passing out from exhaustion. Even moving will be painful at first, and you’ll spend every day of your life knowing exactly what your rival experiences the day after he overdoes it with too much ninjutsu. I wouldn’t recommend using your own ninjutsu at all. But if you’re smart, if you learn to use tools, and if you learn to rest a little every now and then, there’s no reason for you to spend the rest of your life in a hospital bed with someone else cleaning up after you.” She smiled softly. “Enjoy your retirement. I know I’m going to enjoy mine.” 

It was good advice. Guy had never hesitated to use his nunchaku when battling a stronger opponent, and the wheelchair was no different. If he could only manage to stand unassisted for a few seconds at a time, he could use the wheelchair or crutches to go all the way to the bathroom before needing to lie back down. As Lady Tsunade said, it was a tool. He had no reason to hate it. 

He did hate the hospital. The food was too bland, the antiseptic smell was intolerable, and the constant beeping of the various monitors really got on his nerves. Luckily, he was able to sleep through most of the annoying sounds. He spent a lot of time sleeping in those early days of near constant surgeries. Whenever he wasn’t asleep, he would watch for buds on the barren trees outside of the window as they shook in the wind. He did not hate the sound the branches made when they tapped against the glass. His friends did what they could to mitigate the other annoyances. 

Lee, Guy’s precious student, brought him delicious curry in secret. “You need to keep your strength up, Guy-sensei!” 

Guy agreed most wholeheartedly. There was nothing like a big bowl of rich brown curry to invigorate a man who was on the path to recovery. Though he did later find reason to be grateful that he could finally use the toilet on his own. He wouldn’t have wanted to inconvenience any of the nurses over such a slight case of indigestion. 

Tenten, another of Guy’s former students and a kunoichi of skill and cunning, brought him dango. “The food here really is terrible,” she said conscientiously. “Anyway, a couple of dango can’t be as bad for you as a curry or something.” 

Even Sakura, who Guy was inclined to think of as a pitiless, if young, physician, was sympathetic. She always made sure he had fresh fruit included with his meals. “You really should try to eat your porridge too,” she complained. “It’s specially formulated to help you keep your strength up.” 

“I did eat it,” Guy lied, but her eyes slid to the potted plant next to the window and he knew that she was aware of the truth. 

Sighing, she left him a bottle of hot sauce. “Don’t go overboard,” she cautioned. 

Better food was not the only way that his friends showed him affection. Ebisu and Kakashi both brought him dirty books. Guy would never read such things of course, but he was assured of their quality by the young male nurse he asked to assist him in disposing of the offending documents. Naturally they did not discuss the subject, but the man returned the very next day to ask hopefully if Guy had any other trash he didn’t want the women in the hospital to see.

Genma, the companion of Guy’s youth, brought him the greatest gift of all. With the skills of a special jonin practiced in assassination and infiltration, he appeared in Guy’s hospital room one day with a wheelchair and a half smile. “Get in,” he said. “We’re going out.” 

After what felt like months of breathing in that antiseptic smell, there was nothing Guy wanted more in the world. He transferred from his bed to the wheelchair with practiced ease. Unfortunately, even that much was just about all he could manage on his own. It was pathetic, but he was grateful to have Genma pushing. There had been hints from a few doctors that a turn around the hospital and a little fresh air might be allowed one of these days. Watching the new leaves bud outside of his window with anticipation, he had been sure that the opportunity would blossom with the spring as his health improved. Guy was so thrilled that the day had finally come, he didn’t realize how unusual it was that they weren’t passing any hospital staff until they rounded the corner and came face to face with Sakura.

The poisoned senbon Genma always kept between his lips went whizzing over Guy’s head. Sakura blocked it with her clipboard. 

“Kakashi-sensei promised me he wasn’t going to try anything!” 

“If you think I’m here for Kakashi,” Genma said, “then your way of looking at the world is just as skewed as your boyfriend’s.” 

Sakura put her clipboard down with a heavy click and raised her fists. Guy could hear Genma drawing weapons at his back. 

“Woah! What’s going on here? Is this the way shinobi of the Leaf should act? Genma, I admit, I’d like to go outside, but if the doctors won’t allow it, it isn’t something to fight over.” 

“That’s because you don’t know where we’re going.” 

Sakura didn’t shift from her fighting stance, but her face softened a little as she looked down at Guy. “Kakashi-sensei is accepting the position of Sixth Hokage today. That’s why the hospital is so understaffed right now. I was going there myself in a moment.” 

“You admit that there will be more doctors in the crowd there than there are here. So what’s the problem? If Guy collapses or something there will be plenty of medical help on hand.” 

“If Guy-sensei collapses it could set his healing back by weeks.” 

“I’m going.” There was no way Guy could miss his rival’s moment of triumph. It was dishonorable of the hospital staff to have tried to keep knowledge of it from him in the first place. 

Sakura looked at him and sighed. “Kakashi-sensei admitted that it was best if you didn’t.” 

“That means at first he wanted me to come! My eternal rival will only be named Hokage once in this lifetime. He needs me there to cheer him on!” 

Her eyes flicked over his head to Genma. “And I suppose I’ll have to fight you to keep him here?”

“You’ll have to fight us both!” Guy was sure that with determination he could manage to land at least one hit before the pain in his body overcame his will. 

“You heard the man,” Genma said laconically. Guy didn’t have to look back to know that his hands were in his pockets in a cool pose designed to catch his opponent off guard. 

Sakura sighed again and lowered her fists. “You should know for the future that I’m not morally opposed to beating a patient unconscious to keep him in the hospital if he’s being stupid. Today is a special day, though, and I’m already running late. If I go with you do you promise to stay where I can see you?” 

“Deal. If I was trying to kill him, there are easier ways.” 

“Hah! You could never kill me, my most youthful teammate. Our friendship was forged in the fires of adversity, both in war, and in our battle to stay pure while avoiding Ebisu’s temptations.” 

Genma laughed. “You were the only one trying to stay pure, Guy. Just because I don’t go chasing pictures or novels doesn’t mean I don’t have a healthy respect for the female form. A very healthy respect, if it comes to that.” 

“Don’t even think about it. I could break you in half.” 

“You act like that’s a turn off.” 

Sakura was perfectly capable of defending herself, but Guy still felt ungentlemanly for allowing the subject to touch their conversation. 

“Now Genma, grateful though I am to you for your support during my time of trial, I must remind you that it is highly inappropriate to speak that way to a comrade of the village. After all, the youthful heart is not only passionate, but respectful and compassionate. If one’s words are making a comrade uncomfortable, then one would do well to change his words. You must focus on the reaction of your listener, and learn to read their mood.”

“Yeah. I’m the one who needs to learn to read an audience.” 

“Oh look, they’ve started,” Sakura said brightly. 

The whole village was gathered at the base of the Hokage’s mansion, listening respectfully to the man in white addressing them from the platform on the roof. Courteously, Guy, Genma, and Sakura slipped in at the back of the crowd. Even at a distance, with the broad hat and loose robes obscuring even more of Kakashi’s features than his usual mask, Guy could recognize his rival. His words were calm and thoughtful, though not entirely dispassionate. 

In his lifetime, Guy had seen three other Hokage accept the role. Lady Tsunade had waved and shouted her assumption of the office with youthful spirit. In contrast, the Third Lord had been sober and mournful as he resumed the duty. Kakashi was most like his teacher Minato-sensei, the Fourth Hokage, serious and honest about his plans for the future. Something was missing from Kakashi’s speech, though. Excitement and joy ran through the crowd. The village trusted Kakashi, there could be no better choice for Lady Tsunade’s successor, but Guy’s rival seemed completely emotionless as he promised to serve to the best of his ability. 

Suddenly, Kakashi stopped speaking abruptly and vanished. Concerned murmuring rippled through the crowd, and Guy could see the ANBU perched around the building diving in different directions, searching for their new Hokage. He prepared himself to face whatever threat Kakashi had spotted. 

“Yo! Didn’t think I’d see you out of the hospital any time soon.” Kakashi was leaning against a post a few meters to Guy’s left, twirling the big hat in his hands. 

“Rival! You’re supposed to be addressing the village! What are you doing worrying everyone by disappearing so suddenly?” 

“Right, right,” he said peaceably. “I’m the Hokage now, you know. It isn’t seemly to lecture, Guy.” 

For a moment that came close to making Guy pause, but it was just Kakashi being Kakashi. “Don’t try to act so cool, Rival! You disturbed your bodyguards just to come over here and brag.” 

“Brag?” Kakashi grinned. It was still strange to be able to see both of his eyes when he was smiling. “It isn’t bragging to let my rival know I’m planning to catch up.” 

“Catch up?”

When Kakashi’s eyes met his, Guy knew that his rival was deeply serious. The thrill that ran through him whenever Kakashi took him seriously had never diminished with time, nor did his infirmity dampen it. “You’ve done the impossible, Guy. You’re the only man in the history of the world to pass through the Gate of Death and live. Don’t get complacent now, though, thinking you’ve beaten me. A Hokage can make a mark on history, too.” 

Despite the increasing weight in his arms and chest, Guy managed to give Kakashi a proper smile and a thumbs up. “I look forward to seeing what you do, Rival!” 

Smiling, Kakashi turned to make his way back through the crowd. As he passed Sakura, Guy noticed that he dropped a hand on her shoulder and murmured a thank you. 

Somehow, Guy missed the end of Kakashi’s speech. When he woke up back in the hospital three days had passed, but he wouldn’t have traded a few hours of consciousness during those days for the chance to witness Kakashi’s triumph. He wouldn’t have traded Kakashi’s words for the whole world. 

The acknowledgement that they were still competing ignited the untamable fire in Guy’s heart and stoked it to a roaring blaze. He got truly serious about his physical therapy, certainly more serious than his nurses who kept trying to hold him back. Understanding the importance of Lady Tsunade’s advice, however, Guy learned to recognize the signals of his body. It only took a few weeks of hard training for him to be able to know when he had pushed too far and how to rest up instead of passing out. This was his single most important skill, as it finally convinced his doctors that he knew his own body best. That didn’t mean it was the only skill he developed.

He learned to use the wheelchair. He could go much farther riding in it than he could walking without an aid, and he was able to sit up in it for hours at a time. Sliding from the edge of his bed into the seat was easier than standing, and he developed tricks for stashing weapons and other defensive tools in the chair so he wouldn’t have to carry them. This couldn’t be an unusual approach for injured shinobi, but his physical therapists always seemed surprised to discover them. Probably their surprise stemmed from his well known preference for taijutsu, but since he couldn’t fight with even one hundredth of his usual power, using tools made sense. 

As Lady Tsunade said, the wheelchair was just another tool. His ability to use it allowed him to be discharged from the hospital, though he was expected back regularly for physical therapy, and he suspected there would be a lot of concerned friends checking on him. 

That was fair. More than fair, really, even if Guy would have preferred daily physical therapy to the schedule they gave him. Visiting with Lee, Tenten, or his rival when he didn’t have therapy was excellent! They would certainly help him train harder than the reluctant doctors. But Guy needed his independence, too, and he was glad to be released from the hospital while Lee and Tenten were out on a mission. 

Something had been weighing heavily on his mind during his recovery. There was something he needed to do. He hadn’t been able to impose on his students or even his former teammates. There were some things that needed to be done alone. 

While he had never been the tracking type, finding someone in the village wasn’t hard. It was even easier in the wheelchair. The moment he left his apartment he had people coming up to say hello and check to see if he needed anything. That was the difference between being a retired hero and an active shinobi, he supposed. He didn’t mind. It was actually pretty convenient! Finding his target was a matter of minutes, not hours. 

She was in the third training ground, but she wasn’t standing before the memorial stone. His target was working hard, practicing the gentle fist with beautiful determination. Her byakugan were active, so she had to see him struggling a little with his wheelchair in the soft grass, but she did not pause her practice until the natural end of her set, respectfully allowing him to make the approach. 

“Good afternoon, Hinata.”

“Good afternoon, Guy-sensei. It’s good to see you out of the hospital.”

“Thank you! I don’t know how anyone can be expected to recuperate without fresh air and sunshine. Now that I can move around as I please, I’ll be back on my feet any day now!”

“That’s wonderful. I hate to impose, but I did notice that you arrived while I was still practicing.” Guy manfully didn’t flinch. He hadn’t come here to discuss his troubles. “By any chance, were you able to see anything about my form that could be corrected? It still doesn’t feel quite right.” 

“Your left foot in the second to last kata should be centered more directly beneath your shoulder. It will improve your balance and lend power to your final strike.” 

“Like this?” She dropped into the fourth to last kata and danced seamlessly through the movements, making the correction. 

“Very good. Do you feel the improvement?”

“I do!” Her bright smile shone with the enlightenment of youth. Truly, teaching was the most rewarding thing a man could do. After a moment, however, the flower of discovery faded from her face and her gaze turned to the memorial stone as if drawn there by a magnet. “I miss him the most when I’m training,” she said softly.

“Oh?”

“My father tries to find the time, but he’s very busy with the rebuilding efforts, and no one else is strong enough to teach me. Of course many of my relatives are happy to spar, but since I mastered Eight Trigrams Sixty-four Palms, well.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Finding a sparring partner who can challenge you should be a top priority! I’m sure I can help you find someone!” 

“Actually, Lee was kind enough to offer. Sparring with him is certainly a challenge.”

“Ah! My precious student will be glad to practice with you. It makes me proud to know that he can keep the Hyuuga heir on her toes! But then, if he’s willing, what could be the problem?” 

“Well, it isn’t so much a problem. Fighting with him is good practice either way, since he’s definitely better at hand to hand combat than I am, even with my byakugan, but he isn’t an expert in the gentle fist. When he tries to offer me pointers, we sometimes run into problems because of our incompatible styles.” 

“I see.” 

“Maybe, that is to say, I know you’re still recovering, and I’m sure you’re very busy, but if you could occasionally find the time to watch us I would be very much indebted to you for any tips you might be able to offer.” 

“I’d be happy to! Of course without possessing the byakugan, I can’t use the technique properly myself, but I studied the forms thoroughly when I accepted Neji as a student. Anything that I can do to help guide you during the springtime of your growth in the art will be done, you have my word.” 

“Excellent! Thank you Guy-sensei. Lee and I have agreed to meet here at three o’clock on whatever days we don’t have missions. Since he should be back from his tomorrow?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow at three!” 

“Okay.”

Her smile was so soft and pleased that he almost left it at that. It wouldn’t do to cause her pain or make her dwell on a past that could not be changed. However, as a man, he had to say what he had come to say. 

“Hinata, I do hope that if you ever need anything else, anything at all, you will think of me. You were his most precious person, so I’d like to make sure you’re taken care of.” 

“Thank you. I will.” Instead of turning downward in remembrance as Guy had feared it might, her face brightened and her smile turned into a grin. “Though I’ve already promised Lee and Tenten the same thing, so my troubles may not make it all the way to you, Guy-sensei.” 

Laughing, proud of his students for making the offer, Guy hoped Neji wasn’t too embarrassed by the lot of them in that other world. “You’re a good girl, Hinata,” he said, when he managed to stop laughing. “Thank you, for letting us do this for him.” 

“I like to think,” she said slowly, looking at the memorial stone with an impossibly gentle smile, “that this is something I can do for him as well.” 

The trip back to his apartment was a long one. Guy stopped twice along the way to rest, slipping quickly into the trees to hide from other pedestrians. The thin, pale green leaves of early spring did not cast many shadows, but they were enough. Meditating helped him regain his strength and kept him from falling unconscious, but it wouldn’t do to have some helpful, good natured comrade discover him that way. Guy had no intention of going back to the hospital. 

When he finally made it home, the sun was setting, casting a red glow through the almost translucent young leaves in the trees around his apartment building. Guy was exhausted, but it was a day well spent. Thus he was inconveniently surprised to find the Hokage reading on his sofa, with feet propped up on the kotatsu impolitely. 

“Sorry to make you wait,” he said automatically, even though there certainly hadn’t been an appointment. Guy had known that someone would check on him. In a way, he was relieved that it hadn’t been one of his students. He definitely didn’t want Tenten to know how long it had taken him to return from the nearby training field. Doubtless his precious student would have gone looking for him after an hour or so, which could have been doubly disastrous. At least his rival was cool and unconcerned enough to wait in the apartment where he had not witnessed Guy struggling for breath as he battled the pain in his body to move his wheelchair at a tenth of the speed of a walking man. 

“Not to worry.” Kakashi stretched luxuriously, going so far as to close his book and put it into his pocket. “I brought dinner,” he added, gesturing to a brown paper bag on the kitchen counter, “but I ate mine.” 

“Thank you for thinking of me, Rival.” 

“I can’t really stay any longer. People who dream about being Hokage have no idea that it’s nothing but work.” 

Tired as he was, Guy managed a laugh. “You’ve never been lazy, Rival. You can’t fool me. I know you better than that.” 

“It’s all paper work, though, Guy. I’d rather go one handed mountain climbing.” 

“You love one handed mountain climbing. It’s your favorite form of strength training.” 

“I know, that’s why I said I’d rather do that than be Hokage.” 

“Kakashi!”

“Well, it’s only for a few years. Just until Naruto is ready.” 

“Your student will make a fine Hokage one day. That said, a genius like you should be able to manage a little paperwork.” 

“It isn’t a little. It’s a mountain, and not the fun kind. Now I know why Tsunade was always trying to dodge Shizune. It really is too much.” 

“Is that why you’re here? Trying to dodge Yamato?” It was an unworthy act for the Hokage. Kakashi had never been one to shirk hard work, but Guy wouldn’t hesitate to lecture him if he was going to start picking up bad habits. 

“Nah. I actually had a really good idea that I came to completely independently and without any external suggestion,” Kakashi said with an earnest expression. It was so completely out of character that Guy knew some portion of his statement had to be false. However, he was much too tired to parse his rivals words to uncover the half truth. The most likely conclusion was that Kakashi was checking in on behalf of the hospital. 

“Please feel free to tell my doctors that I’m fine.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re feeling well, but I fail to see what that has to do with the brilliant thought that occurred to me while I was working hard in my office and definitely not following anyone.” 

Guy was much too tired for Kakashi’s riddles. If he happened to fall asleep after his understandably long first day out of the hospital while Kakashi was in his apartment, he would definitely wake up back in that horrible place. Still, he didn’t want to be rude. “What is your idea?”

“Oh, nothing new, really. Nothing we haven’t been doing for years already.”

“Kakashi?”

“I want you to train with me.”

Those words really fired Guy up! Kakashi was almost never the one to ask for a challenge or a spar. It didn’t matter how far the journey from the training ground had seemed or how much his body ached with the need to lie down and rest. If Kakashi wanted a fight, Guy would give him one! Even if he could only manage a punch or two, Guy could certainly give Kakashi a workout. For about half a minute. He was forced to look down at the arm of his wheelchair as the fighting spirit abandoned him

“Kakashi, you have to know there’s nothing I’d like more.” 

“Don’t be dense, Guy. I’m not talking about a physical fight, and I’m not talking about starting now. I really do have to get back to the office, for one thing.”

“What are you talking about then?” 

“Well, it’s unfortunate, this loss of mine.” Kakashi turned away from Guy to look out the window at the way the setting sun tricked the young spring leaves into showing red autumnal colors. 

“The Sharingan?”

“It’s better for me personally, I hate to say. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to have proper peripheral vision, and I love not worrying about draining my chakra first thing in the morning by accidentally opening both eyes. However, in terms of my style and technique, I have to admit it is a loss.” 

“I know your Mangekyo Sharingan gave you an unblockable long range attack, but you can read an opponent’s movements pretty well even without the basic Sharingan. Yes, the chidori is a big loss, but there are other lightning styles available for a natural user like you. I always thought that maybe,” Guy realized he was being insensitive and stopped speaking. He didn’t have a way to finish that sentence. 

“I relied on Obito’s eye and the chidori in remembrance of my friends. If I used the Sharingan first when a fight seemed serious, it was a little like fighting alongside him again. But I’m Hokage now, and I have to think of the village. Indulging my feelings that way is no longer possible, anyhow.” 

“Over the years you have to have copied thousands of jutsu. There has to be something you can use.” 

“I’m working on a few things.” 

“And you want my help practicing? I like to think that over the years I’ve been able to push you a little bit, Rival, but maybe, just for the time being, just until I’m back on my feet, you might want to find a different sparring partner.” 

“It’s not just my ninjutsu, Guy. I got lazy about my genjutsu, too. The Sharingan made it so easy. Of course I still have a few basics, but most of my higher level techniques were pretty dependent on mesmerizing my opponents with that whirling eye.” 

“You should talk to Kurenai about that.” 

“Hey! Give me a little credit, Guy. I said I still have the basics. I don’t need coaching.”

“Then what do you need?”

“Practice.”

“Ah. Rival. That is to say I would love to help you, but even just breaking a genjutsu takes chakra.”

“Guy, listen. I don’t want you to break the genjutsu.” 

“Obviously not, that’s the point of sparring after all, but I respect you too much to waste your time, Rival. Give me one month to get back on my feet and I’ll be the sparring partner you desire once again!” 

“You’re good enough as you are. I don’t want you to break the genjutsu I just want feedback. I’m looking to create advanced illusions with little effort. I want you to tell me what works and what doesn’t.” 

There was something a little suspicious about the request, but Guy couldn’t put his finger on the problem. 

“I promise to release you when you ask, if you’re scared.”

“Rival! You can’t be serious. I’ve never once been afraid to face you!”

“Great!” Kakashi grinned, hopping up to the windowsill and looking back to meet Guy’s eyes. “Not tomorrow. I wasn’t joking about the amount of work that keeps piling up. But someday soon. I’ll swing by when you’re free.” 

Before Guy could argue, Kakashi was gone. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to humor him a little. He was the Hokage after all. Anyway, Guy didn’t have the luxury of worrying. The pain of sitting upright for so long had driven him well past his limit. For the sake of his pride, he managed to wheel his way to the bedroom and collapsed into his bed. Though he didn’t remember it, he must have managed a little more than that, because when he woke up in the morning he was tucked gently underneath the covers, with his shoes arranged neatly next to his wheelchair, just within reach. 

For his second morning out of the hospital, he did a pretty good job of obeying his discharge instructions. He only did a few squats before washing and getting dressed, barely a hundred. It was true that they’d asked him not to do any training outside of his physical therapy, but he figured that it probably didn’t count on days when he wasn’t scheduled for therapy. Still, even that little exhausted him and he had to lie down for a bit after breakfast. 

The polite knock on his door woke him up right away, so it definitely didn’t count as passing out. It was just a nap. Guy slid into his wheelchair and rolled over to answer the door. Waiting with a big smile on the other side of the door was his precious student Lee. 

“Forgive me for not visiting earlier, Guy-sensei! I wanted to see you right away the minute I got back from my mission. Unfortunately, I had some errands that took up a little bit of time and now we have to hurry to meet Hinata for sparring practice.” 

Guy probably had less than four good punches in him, but he gifted one to Lee all the same, rising from his wheelchair to strike the boy with all his might. “Lee! Never apologize if you’ve made good use of your time!” 

Bouncing up from the floor with a grin, Lee saluted. “Yes, Guy-sensei!” 

“Did you make good use of your time Lee?”

“Yes, Guy-sensei!” 

“Then there’s no need to apologize! You need to be training and pursuing your own way of the ninja, not worrying about me.”

“Ah, well actually.”

“What is it Lee?”

“That is to say, I wasn’t exactly training.” 

“Lee! You? You were neglecting your training?” 

“No, Guy-sensei! I would never! But this morning I had something more important to do.”

“More important than training? What were you up to?”

“Moving!”

“Moving?”

“I’ll show you my new apartment on the way if you like, Guy-sensei!” 

If anyone deserved a nice new apartment, it was Lee. The asceticism of Guy’s disciple was admirable, but he’d lived in the same one room apartment since his academy days except for a brief stint in the dojo he’d built himself as a training exercise. As a chunin, he could certainly afford better, and Guy couldn’t imagine the boy would do anything extravagant. It was good for a shinobi who struggled on his missions and trained hard to find comfort in his home. 

“Let’s go, Lee!” 

Dashing behind Guy, Lee grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed him out of the apartment at a run, slamming the door behind them. It was good to feel a little speed again, but barely a second passed before they stopped. Lee casually opened the door of the first floor apartment right next to Guy’s. 

“Lee?”

“Welcome to my new home! Please feel free to stop by anytime.” With a formal little bow, he ushered Guy into the apartment. 

It was a nice place, set up in an almost mirror image of Guy’s own. Lee had a sofa, a proper kitchen, and all sorts of things he hadn’t had in his old place. Surely Lee deserved room to grow and prosper as much as any new leaf, but he really wasn’t the type to seek such things for himself.

“What happened to a man needing his independence?” 

Guy’s adorable student blushed and rubbed the back of his head. It was clear he remembered the one time they’d spoken on the subject, back when Lee had been a genin for a few months and had already proven his dedication to hard work. Upon seeing the boy’s tiny apartment, Guy had awkwardly offered up his own spare room. Lee had refused. Since it really wasn’t appropriate for a subordinate to move in with a team leader, Guy had never made a second offer. Instead, he’d just made sure to treat his team to dinner frequently, and take them on lots of long training trips. 

He was sure that Lee had been correct to refuse. A young tree needed room to spread his branches. Lee needed to be able to do things like build his own dojo or entertain a young lady without worrying about a teacher looking over his shoulder. He still deserved those things, even if it was admirable for him to want to care for an infirm old man.

“You have independence, Guy-sensei! I just happened to get a really good deal on this apartment while I was searching. I mean, obviously the building you chose to live in would be the best in the village, so it makes perfect sense for me to live here as well.” 

“Lee! You fool! I mean you should have your independence!” 

“My independence?” Lee blinked in confusion. “You mean trying for jounin? Lord Sixth Hokage did speak to some of us about that, but I think it was just to annoy Naruto and Sasuke since they’re both technically still genin. To be completely honest, I’m not sure I’m ready for that step. I enjoy leading a squad as a chunin, but I’m not confident that I could take a whole platoon into battle just yet. I don’t have Neji’s genius for strategy.” 

That stopped both of them. Guy accepted that there might be a number of reasons for Lee’s choice in apartments, and it seemed like such a small, unimportant thing to worry about. 

“The genius that he had, I mean,” Lee said, looking away. 

“Lee.” There was nothing to be said. Neji had been Lee’s rival, a sacred bond broken when the genius was cut down before reaching the full bloom of his youth. Guy had lost a precious student, but that could never compare to what Lee must be suffering. It was good that he’d be living close by where Guy could keep an eye on him. “We should head out. It wouldn’t do to keep Hinata waiting.” 

“Right.” Lee took over pushing the wheelchair, but he was still a little subdued as he closed the apartment behind them. 

“Come on, Lee! Surely my weight doesn’t slow you down this much?” 

“No, Guy-sensei!” With his usual spirit, Guy’s precious student dashed down the ramp, taking the corners at impossibly sharp angles and racing toward the practice field with appropriate speed. 

Obviously there was no better way to train a fighter than to fight, but even without feeling her attacks himself, Guy was able to offer advice to Hinata. Lee was perfect, but since he was concerned about strategy, Guy reminded him of those long ago lessons in thinking ahead and encouraged him to apply them with Hinata. Mostly, he was able to cheer them both on and encourage their hard work, which was the main job of a teacher. 

Practicing with Kakashi was something else entirely. 

“So you don’t want me to try to break the genjutsu,” Guy checked, just to be sure. 

“No, just tell me what you notice about it that seems off, and help me test how long I can maintain this level of realism.” 

The illusion put them in Training Ground Eleven, though they had been in Guy’s apartment settled comfortably with tea and cushions only moments before. There were a number of things that made it obvious that it was an illusion, but one stood out above the rest. 

“My body doesn’t hurt,” Guy said. “I’m not in any pain at all.” 

“Ah.” Kakashi looked down at the fresh green grass beneath their feet. “That’s a matter of controlling the neural impulse exchange between your body and your mind. In a detailed genjutsu like this one it’s easy enough for me to manage that, and I figured you would have an easier time paying attention without those feelings.” 

“Maybe so, but an injured enemy would know right away that this was an illusion, Kakashi. It’s pretty suspicious.” 

Instantly, the aching strain in every single one of his muscles returned along with the bone deep emptiness that made every breath a struggle. Guy gasped a little, but managed to stay on his feet. Before he could say anything, the pain was gone again. 

“It’s easy enough to let those things through, but it’s good for me to practice controlling them. Otherwise, anyone I trap can escape easily enough by stabbing themselves or breaking a finger or something.” 

Kakashi had a point there. Before learning to properly release a genjutsu, Guy had resorted to that method more than once. And he couldn’t pretend to miss the pain. 

“Do you notice anything else?” 

“The chrysanthemums are blooming, but it’s too early for them. This time of year, only the wisteria near this training ground has reached its full blossom. The wind should smell,” Guy paused, watching the chrysanthemums fold their petals into buds, “like that.” 

“Good. Thanks. Anything else? Too many birds? The wrong kind of birds?” 

“No. This is a very realistic genjutsu, but you’ve always been good at them Rival. Did you want to release it so that you can practice capturing me?” 

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the clouds. “Nah. I told you. I want to work on my stamina. Let’s just stay here for a bit.” 

That was certainly no hardship for Guy. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and for the first time in months he couldn’t feel any pain. “Sure. It’s very peaceful here.” 

“How ever will we pass the time?” 

Instinct let Guy jump over Kakashi’s leg sweep and familiarity with his rival’s style let him dodge under the second high kick, but he could only manage to block the third with crossed arms taking the full force of a heavy blow. 

“That hurt! I felt that!” Hurt was an exaggeration, but Guy couldn’t contain his excitement as he struck back at his rival, punching over and over again with all of his speed and power. 

“I told you,” Kakashi said, dodging nimbly away. “I am in control of your sensations. That’s the whole point. I want to make the illusion as realistic as possible.”

“My sensations,” Guy said, his slow words contrasting dramatically with the speed of his attack, “but not my actions.” Catching Kakashi off guard with the Leaf Hurricane, Guy managed to get control of the fight. Flipping in the air, Kakashi countered in the only way he could, shooting a fireball of immense proportions that singed Guy’s face, but it wasn’t enough. Striking, evading, dancing, whirling, and laughing with the sheer joy of it all, Guy fought hard. Every punch Kakashi managed to land, the sweeping kick that off balanced him just a little, the blades of grass beneath his hand as he vaulted backward to dodge an impressive number of shuriken, Guy could feel it all. 

Pinning Kakashi hard against the ground, Guy could smell the distinctive ozone scent in the puff of smoke that marked the end of a shadow clone. Rolling out of the way of a hard kunai thrust, Guy could hear the snapping rip of his uniform being cut, just slightly different from the way normal fabric would tear. Punching hard through the logs of Kakashi’s substitution technique, Guy could feel the wood splintering against his fist. It was a perfect illusion, and an ideal trap. Fighting Kakashi felt real, right, and as natural as breathing. 

Then abruptly it wasn’t. The spark of Kakashi’s genius extinguished. He still seemed to be there, the two of them were still fighting. If anything, Kakashi was even better, using the perfect counter for Guy’s every move. It reminded Guy uncomfortably of the time he’d been forced to fight a powerful clone of himself. 

“Rival?” 

“You can’t take me down!” Kakashi said. An appropriate response, given the situation. In fact, it was exactly what Guy himself might say, which meant that it definitely wasn’t Kakashi. Disappointed and strangely hurt, Guy summoned his chakra and broke the genjutsu. 

“That is why I ordered you not to interrupt me,” Kakashi snapped at Yamato, who was balanced in Guy’s window. Guy wanted to invite him in and offer him some tea. It was only polite. His father hadn’t raised him to be impolite to a guest. Guy was going to invite him in, just as soon as he found the strength to speak through his pain. 

“I’ll fetch a medic,” Yamato said, his eyes wide in his normally expressionless face.

“No,” Guy managed. It was shameful that he was able to speak on his own behalf and not out of politeness, but he wasn’t going to risk being sent back to the hospital. 

Yamato’s eyes went to his Hokage for a final order. Guy couldn’t fault that, but he tried to make his own eyes convey how serious his feelings on the matter were to Kakashi. 

“Give him a minute. This is my fault. I’m sorry, Guy. I should have broken the genjutsu, but I hoped you’d take more than ten seconds to realize what the problem was. I thought that I could slip back in without you noticing.” 

“Of course I noticed.” The words required great effort, but Guy was determined to prove that he wasn’t an invalid. “I was no longer fighting you.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think one hour of personal time was too much for a hard working Hokage to ask of his staff,” he added, glaring at Yamato. 

Twisting his mouth in a surly, unspirited way, Yamato returned Kakashi’s glare. “It’s been three hours, Senpai, and you promised the council that you would have a ruling on that funding proposal by the end of the day. Honestly, from the window, it looked like you were hiding out here while Guy napped.” 

“Three hours?” Kakashi’s eyes widened, and he scratched the back of his head, looking down sheepishly. “Sorry. I guess I was having fun.”

Softening, Yamato’s eyes drifted from Kakashi to Guy. “Sparring practice, huh?” 

Uninterested in pity, Guy scowled at him. “Obviously not. My Eternal Rival needed a target to practice a new genjutsu on.” 

“Of course,” Yamato agreed awkwardly. 

“Go see if Lee’s next door,” Kakashi said, more order than suggestion. 

“No.” Guy tried to object, but after one glance at Kakashi, Yamato completely ignored him and vanished from the windowsill. “Kakashi, I don’t want-” 

“Lee or Sakura,” Kakashi said pitilessly. “You choose. It may be my fault that you flared the last of your chakra, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you pass out unattended. Do you even know how many times your heart stopped while you were in the hospital?” 

Guy’s doctors might have mentioned something about that, but it wasn’t the kind of thing that they needed to dwell on. “I’m much better now.” Struggling to bend his stiff fingers, he managed to curl them in toward his palm. Sweating with effort, he managed to raise a thumb and smile. “I’ll be fine on my own.” 

Lee chose that moment to come in the front door. “Guy-sensei!” He dashed over, whipping the wheelchair around and depositing it next to the couch. “What are you doing? You look terrible. We should go to the hospital right away!” 

Sometimes, Guy hated Kakashi. The man was insufferably smug, but it was impossible to call him on it when all he did was quirk an eyebrow. 

“Everything is alright, Lee. I’m sorry that your evening was interrupted. Please don’t concern yourself.” 

Kakashi stood. Controlled, untouchable, every inch the Hokage, he turned to Lee. “He doesn’t need to go to the hospital if you’ll stay with him. I have as much experience with chakra depletion as anyone. Since he’s moving and speaking, it isn’t an absolute emergency. However, given that he overextended himself doing a favor for me, I’d appreciate it if he wasn’t left alone.” 

Saluting smartly, Lee took on the task. “You can count on me, Lord Sixth!” 

Guy didn’t bother to argue the point further. Technically the Hokage could order all of them to tapdance on the rooftop, and Guy was rapidly approaching his limit. Passing out in front of Kakashi would be completely unacceptable for several reasons. First, because it implied defeat at the feet of his rival. Second, because Kakashi would feel guilty about hurting him. Third, and most importantly, because if things went that far, Kakashi wouldn’t want to practice genjutsu on him again. The illusion of fighting with Kakashi again had been fun. Maybe it was selfish, but Guy wouldn’t mind revisiting that illusion of his former life. Especially not if doing so really was a way to help Kakashi grow stronger. 

“Yo, Kakashi.” 

Completely in command, Kakashi turned to Guy with a face as impassive as the one set in stone above the village. Clearly he expected another argument. 

“Thanks for stopping by.” 

Immediately, his eyes softened. When he spoke his voice was soft and low. “Yeah. Thanks for your help. I promise not to push your limits so much next time we work on this.”

“Ridiculous! It is only by pushing our limits that we develop our true power!” 

“Maybe so.” Kakashi’s laugh was loud and bright, his hand on Guy’s shoulder warm and painless, the rush of leaves as he teleported away calming in its casual discourtesy. 

Because he was not a complete invalid, Guy did not pass out in front of his most precious student. While Lee busied himself using Guy’s weights and doing strength training, Guy was able to slip into his room and take a nap. His health was not nearly as delicate as Kakashi made it out to be with his exaggerated concerns. Though a few days did pass before Guy was well enough to return to his training, and he may not have eaten much during that time without Lee’s conscientious oversight, he experienced no ill effects from Kakashi’s experiment. Indeed, when Kakashi returned to try again, Guy was eager to help him once more. 

Sparring with Kakashi had always been the highlight of his days. That sparring with Kakashi was the only respite Guy had from the deep ache in his body did not make it less so. After the initial difficulty, though, Kakashi became very strict. Their practice sessions lasted an hour, no longer, and he never came more than once or twice a week. It was still glorious to run and fight and leap and kick in all the ways that had once come so easily. Naruto had been the one who stopped Guy from dying. Doctors, students, and friends did what they could to help keep him from that brink, but it was never quite enough. Being with Kakashi brought Guy to back to life. 

It was four or five weeks into their new training regimen when the change took place. The day was a dreary one, light rain and grey clouds oppressing the usual vital spirit of the village. As part of his practice, Kakashi didn’t alter the weather for their illusionary battle. If anything, he added more rain and made the mud even more slippery than it would have been. Combining that with his chosen location, Training Ground Twenty One, next to the river, gave Kakashi a considerable advantage. Guy had to fight his way around water clones, dodge water needles, punch through a sticky mud wall, and finally battle a powerful water dragon before he managed to wrestle Kakashi to the ground and pin him. It was an excellent fight, and Kakashi’s illusion was a perfect one. Guy could feel the heat of his rival pressed into the cold mud beneath him even as the sharp, chilly rain pounded against his back. It all felt so real. It had been months since Guy felt so alive. 

“Your victory,” Kakashi said, snapping them back to reality. “As always thanks for the help. I have to go. Hokage, you know.” 

Before Guy could say anything more than goodbye, his rival was gone. In the wake of the illusion, despite the aches in his every muscle and joint, Guy’s body came to life. 

Hesitantly, hardly daring to believe, Guy dropped a hand to his lap. He felt his hand, warm and gentle. He felt himself, hard and hot and sure. There was no time to waste on hesitancy. His body could lose vitality at any moment. Snapping open his pants and shifting his weight up to slide them down to his knees, Guy moved as quickly as he could. For a hairy moment, the combined strain of the action and and cool air made his erection flag slightly, but Guy gripped himself firmly in one hand. The familiar weight against his palm was such a comfort. The familiar stroke of his callouses was such a pleasure. It had been so long since Guy last took any pleasure in his own body that the feeling was startlingly intense. 

He squeezed, just a little. Stroking firmly to the peak, he teased, just a little, with his thumb trailing around his foreskin. With his left hand braced firmly against his base, splayed evenly across his lower abdomen and inner thigh, Guy struggled to hold on. Biting his lip, he forced himself to make the feeling last for just another moment, for just one more stroke. Even that didn’t work for long. Joy blossomed forth like a firework. 

Afterward, staring at the familiar mess on his hand and in his lap, Guy couldn’t stop smiling. Of course he had never lost faith that he would one day make a complete recovery. His dedication to his physical therapy was proof enough of that, if proof were needed. But it was good to finally get something back. Before his final battle with Madara, Guy’s body had been a constant source of delight. Every day was to be spent experiencing life with youthful vigor. After his injury, every moment awake had been a dull, painful ache. For the first time since passing through the gate of death, Guy felt truly alive. 

It was not the last time. 

Arousal from a fight with Kakashi was nothing new. It had been a constant before his body failed and it quickly became a constant after their illusionary fights. Of course things weren’t exactly as they had been once. Before the heat and passion of battle would grow naturally, occasionally culminating in something too powerful to ignore, but often it was only an additional incentive to train harder until his body was exhausted. Especially those times when Kakashi proved victorious. Now it was always a sudden thing. Kakashi would end the illusion and Guy’s feelings would swell like a tidal wave, overcoming everything. The sensation was undeniable, but then Guy had less reason to deny it. His training was going well, but pushing himself past the point of exhaustion always led to setbacks. There was no need to sublimate. He took what joy he could when it was available to him. 

Settling into a routine had once been an anathema to Guy. Consistency was fine, but to reach ever higher he believed varying his training methods was key. In his gradually healing infirmity he changed his mind. He trained hard every day, always adding something to his routine, even if it was only one extra push up, but he did keep to a routine. He watched over Lee, Tenten, or Hinata’s training almost every day as well, offering advice when he could and cheerful encouragement when they needed it. Once or twice a week Kakashi would come around to train and once or twice a week Guy would please himself. It was not a bad life. If he spent more time than he once had watching the leaves dance in the wind, that was no bad thing. 

That didn’t mean the change took him by surprise. Kakashi hadn’t been able to sneak up on him since he made jounin. 

It was clear the moment Kakashi arrived that he was in a mood. He sat on the very edge of his chair, refusing tea, clearly not listening to Guy, simply staring at the window. When he finally spoke, it was to say, “Maybe we shouldn’t today.” 

“Shouldn’t what?” Guy asked, already a little disappointed. Part of him had been expecting Kakashi to call an end to the genjutsu training for weeks. That was how long it had been since Guy had last offered truly helpful feedback. While stamina training was important, Kakashi could surely find better sparring partners to push his limits. True, Guy enjoyed being inside Kakashi’s illusions, but that was no reason to waste his rival’s precious training time. And Guy would have more time to watch the leaves fall. 

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow in answer to Guy’s feigned obliviousness and filled him with shame. 

“My apologies, Rival.” Guy was many things, but never a coward. He met Kakashi’s gaze. “I have known for some time that this practice of ours must come to an end.” 

Kakashi’s eyes shot wide with surprise. His face was much more expressive with both eyes exposed. “Guy!” 

“No, it was selfish and unworthy of me to try to delay you. It is right and good for you to seek a partner better able to match you, even in this. You must not allow sentiment to influence your training. As the Hokage you are responsible for the safety of the village. Therefore, it is more important than ever that you, huh.” Guy stopped, realizing that at some point during his impassioned speech, Kakashi had caught him in a genjutsu. Or teleported them both to Training Ground Forty-Four, but the bone deep ache was gone from Guy’s body, so it was definitely a genjutsu. 

Cocking his head to the side, Guy felt compelled to ask. “I thought you didn’t want to?” 

“Just being selfish,” Kakashi said, seamlessly attacking with a flurry of fists and a particularly well executed leg sweep. 

“You were going to neglect your training?” Guy was so shocked that he almost missed the telltale flicker of invisible wires, flipping over his rival’s head just in time to avoid the trap and make Kakashi dodge his own shuriken. 

“I had a hard day,” his rival grumbled. “I’m allowed to be a little selfish after a hard day.” At least selfish didn’t translate to lazy. Once Kakashi committed to a fight he always saw it through. Forcing Guy to dodge three huge fireballs which set the fallen autumn leaves around the field aflame before creating a stone wall, Kakashi changed the familiar terrain enough to control the fight. Even so, he couldn’t trap Guy between stone and flame forever. Smashing through the wall with a mighty kick, Guy closed in, forcing his rival to use taijutsu. 

He noticed immediately. How could he not? It felt exactly the way fighting Kakashi always used to feel. Passion built between them with every blow. The skilled dance of Kakashi’s evasions ignited Guy’s admiration. Every connection of a fist or a foot fanned the flames of ardor. When Kakashi finally pinned Guy to the dry, prickly grass as the inferno of earlier techniques blazed around them, Guy’s whole body was aflame. 

“Just a little selfish,” Kakashi murmured, his voice low and too gentle for a victory speech. Then he slid one hand over Guy’s abdomen, as he had never done before, to cup Guy’s cock through his pants. 

Guy’s response was immediate and enthusiastic. Breaking one hand free, he pulled Kakashi’s mask off and arched up to kiss him. Kakashi kissed as one would expect, giving way to Guy’s passion, welcoming the intrusion of a tongue, before retreating and reassessing, biting gently at Guy’s lower lip, licking his own way into Guy’s mouth. It wasn’t so much a struggle for dominance as a familiar dance and Guy’s heart was full enough to break. 

“Just a little,” Kakashi repeated, shifting a little to give Guy room to remove his flak jacket. “You want this,” he said, dropping another kiss to Guy’s lips before letting him tug the turtleneck off over his head, messing his silver hair even more than usual. “You do want this.” 

“Of course I do, rival,” Guy said, a little breathlessly, tracing his hands over the scarred, pale expanse of Kakashi’s skin. It wasn’t his first time seeing or touching. They’d known each other for years, bathed together, scrubbed backs, dressed wounds, and fought through damaged clothing. That was all different, though. Touching with an invitation to touch was so very, very different. “Feels so good,” he added, in case Kakashi needed the additional encouragement. 

Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. Kakashi jerked back and away. Suddenly they were sitting in Guy’s apartment once again, fully clothed and several feet apart. 

“Kakashi?” The hokage’s face was paler than usual and he was trembling slightly. It was entirely unlike him. “Are you alright?” 

“Am I alright?” Kakashi choked on the words as though his mouth was full of ash. It should not have been a surprise. If Kakashi had not wanted him in the blossom of his youth or at the height of his strength, there was no reason to hope he might be attracted to the wan, fallen thing that Guy had become. He must have forgotten reality for a moment in the genjutsu as Guy always did. He’d said as much. After a hard day, he wanted a warm body. Kakashi had never been very particular about his lovers, though he’d always been choosy enough not to bother with Guy. There had always been a hope, a fantasy really, that Guy might one day prove a worthy lover just as he had proven himself as a rival. He should have given up the dream with his strength. 

“I’m sorry, rival.” Filled with shame, Guy didn’t stop there. “I do not know how to apologize for my actions. Your kindness-”

“Don’t. Apologize.” At least Kakashi stopped shaking. Full of righteous fury, he would scold Guy for his missteps, which Guy would hastily correct and never repeat, and their friendship could continue. Their friendship was strong enough to survive anything. Their friendship had to be strong enough. Guy had so little, now that he was weak. 

But Kakashi didn’t scold. He just stood there, fuming and staring at the floor. After a few long moments, Guy was compelled to continue. “No,” he agreed. “I understand that there can be no apology.” 

“Guy!” 

He fell silent. 

Kakashi took a deep breath and met Guy’s eyes. “Do you understand what just happened at all?” 

“We got confused in the genjutsu,” Guy suggested hopefully. It was a cowardly maneuver, perhaps, but despite popular opinion Guy was a ninja. He was capable of tactically selecting a less than honorable route if it would help them return to the path of friendship. 

“No,” Kakashi snapped. “I didn’t get confused. I was in control of the illusion. I know you don’t use genjutsu, but even you know that it isn’t possible for the caster to become confused by their own technique.” 

“Okay.” Genuinely confused by Kakashi’s words, Guy tried to understand why Kakashi would be so upset if he had known what he was doing the entire time. Yes it was shameful to succumb to desire for a person one did not truly long for, but Kakashi had proven able to compartmentalize such feelings in the past. 

“I aroused you.” Kakashi didn’t just look angry, he looked like he might be sick. Guy still didn’t understand. 

“You’ve never had a problem with that before,” he said a little defensively. 

Kakashi blinked. “I have never done that before. I control the illusion. I would know.” 

It seemed childish to argue, so Guy didn’t. He was starting to understand. Kakashi had allowed more of Guy’s feelings than usual to enter the genjutsu, and those feelings had affected him adversely. Unfortunately, Guy didn’t know how to apologize for a feeling. After all, he could not promise to change his feelings, only his actions. 

“No, rival. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize! I have to go. Talking now was a mistake.” Guy caught his arm before he could teleport away. 

“I only mean to acknowledge that it is true that things never happened in such a way before. Now that I am aware of the extent to which it bothers you, I give you my word that I will never again take advantage of those feelings.” It was a true sacrifice, but there was nothing Guy would not sacrifice for the sake of friendship. He would miss those pleasurable moments, but the pleasure of Kakashi’s company was far more valuable. 

“Take advantage?” Kakashi looked from the hand on his arm to Guy’s face. He didn’t pull away to leave, though, and his eyes weren’t mocking. On the contrary, they were narrow, analytical, like he was encountering something he couldn’t quite categorize. 

Guy still blushed. He was no virginal genin, but there were some topics a gentleman did not discuss, even with his closest friend. Still, if it would allow him to keep his closest friend, he would not shy away from what needed to be said. “Touch myself. I’ll stop masturbating after you visit.” 

Kakashi hissed, a sharp, audible intake of breath. Was he surprised by the promise or the admission? Surely he could see the necessity of fearless honesty at this point to save their friendship. 

“That. Isn’t necessary.” 

And Guy was back to being confused. “It probably will be. I understand that we won’t be sparring anymore, but my body has been getting better and it’s only a matter of time until I’m capable of it under normal circumstances. I swear to you that I will control my feelings enough to never again become aroused in your presence, and if I fail, I will take cold showers every day for a year.” 

Kakashi grabbed for Guy’s hands like he was falling, but his grip was strong and sure. “Don’t. You. You’re saying that you only touch yourself when you’re thinking about me.” It wasn’t really a question. 

“Um, yes? But do not be concerned for me rival. It is true that my pleasures may be few, but this is no sacrifice at all if the alternative upsets you. In any case, my health improves with great strides every day. Soon enough I will be able to take pleasure in reality, foregoing such imaginings entirely.” Perhaps that part wasn’t strictly true, but Guy would certainly heal eventually. It was stingy to quibble over how long that might take. 

Kakashi’s hands tightened on Guy’s. “Will you now?” His eyes were deep and intense, but his words didn’t make sense.

“Will I what?” 

“Touch yourself. After I leave.” It wasn’t like Kakashi not to listen. Maybe something was really wrong with him, beyond being upset.

“Of course not, rival! I have given you my word.”

“Take it back,” Kakashi said, low and close. 

“What?”

“I want you to.” Close enough that Guy could feel his body heat. Close enough that Guy couldn’t see anything but his eyes. “I want to help. I could. What if I touched you?” 

“You wouldn’t,” Guy said, laughing nervously. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice in an hour. 

Kakashi laughed, too, dry and mirthlessly. “You really don’t see what just happened as a problem, do you?” 

“Of course it’s a problem,” Guy said quickly. Kakashi was upset, though he also seemed like he might kiss Guy a second time, so answering correctly had an added urgency. 

“Why?”

“What?

“Why is what just happened a problem?” Still holding Guy’s hands, Kakashi leaned back against his chair. For the first time all day, he looked like himself. Set to lecture, but not angry or unhappy, just showing off because he knew something Guy didn’t. It was a real relief. Guy still didn’t know what to say, but that didn’t matter anymore. He knew how to play this game. 

“You were upset because I was aroused,” he guessed.

“Nope.” Kakashi grinned, genuinely amused. “Nothing could be further from the truth.” 

“You were upset because you didn’t want to be aroused.” 

“Closer to the truth.” Kakashi’s smile took on an edge. “It was dangerous, and I knew better.” 

“Oh! You weren’t upset because you thought we might lose track of time again and stay in the genjutsu too long, were you? I’m sure I could manage more than an hour, Kakashi. I was only tired that first time because I broke the genjutsu, and even so that was months ago. I’m much stronger now.” 

Squeezing his hands, Kakashi said, “I know. It isn’t that.” 

“Then what?” 

“I was in control of you, Guy. Complete control. You don’t feel pain in the illusions because all of your sensory input comes from me. Fighting me didn’t turn you on. I made you aroused.” 

“Okay,” Guy said, to show he understood when Kakashi paused, waiting for Kakashi to explain why he was upset. 

After another long pause, Kakashi laughed, sharp and loud. “Fuck it. I tried.” 

Guy wanted to ask what he meant by that, but the mask was gone and they were kissing again, slow and deep. It was even better than the illusion. Aching muscles were annoying and Guy was a little tired, but there was a nuance to Kakashi’s taste that hadn’t quite been captured by the genjutsu. He smelled a little more like wet dog and a little less like burning autumn leaves. He felt just a little rougher and the pressure of his hands on Guy’s arms hurt just a little more than Guy could bear. 

“Why don’t we try something novel,” Kakashi said. His eyes were a little unfocused and his voice was even deeper than usual. 

Nodding his agreement, Guy licked his own lips, staring at Kakashi, and wondered if he dared risk another kiss in the interim. 

“Tell me what you want.” 

“To kiss you again.” Guy had a split second to wonder if this was another trick question that he should have considered carefully before answering, but then they were kissing again so he couldn’t have gotten it too wrong. If anything, he must have answered correctly, because Kakashi sucked on his tongue like a delicate sea urchin and groaned eagerly when Guy returned the favor. 

“Anything else?” Kakashi asked, punctuating the question with another slow kiss. 

“Oh,” Guy said, whipping his guilty hands away from the fastenings on Kakashi’s armor, belatedly understanding that Kakashi wanted him to say things before he did them for some reason. 

“Can I please take off your armor?” he asked, trying to be as formal as possible.

Grinning, Kakashi kissed him again. “Faster if I do it.” 

“Okay.” Again, Guy answered without thinking and again he clearly said something very, very right because half a second later, Kakashi was completely naked, straddling the wheelchair and kissing him. Still, Guy had somehow miraculously been given a second chance, he wasn’t going to mess it up by not doing as Kakashi asked. 

Breaking away a little desperately he said, “May I please touch you?” 

“Yeah,” Kakashi agreed softly. That was more than good enough. Guy let his hands roam eagerly over Kakashi’s back and along the ridge of his spine as they kissed, drifting ever lower. Kakashi hummed happily when Guy groped his ass, then groaned when Guy slid his hand forward a little more stroking his perineum slowly before squeezing his balls lightly. That made Kakashi gasp. A happy puff of air that broke their kiss for a moment before Kakashi dove forward again eagerly. Touch was a word that could cover a myriad of sins, Guy figured, letting his other hand slip around Kakashi’s abdomen to grip his cock firmly. Kakashi didn’t object. 

“Please,” Kakashi whimpered. Guy had never heard Kakashi whimper before, not even in truly dire circumstances. It was interesting. He sped the stroke of his right hand, slicking his hand with the fluid leaking eagerly from Kakashi’s tip, squeezing a little more with his left. 

“Please,” Kakashi begged, panting against Guy’s mouth. “Don’t you want anything else?” 

“Oh!” It was the kind of realization that would usually necessitate pounding a fist into a hand, but Guy’s fist was busy, as was his hand. “I want you to come, rival,” he said, less formally than he might have. Kakashi obliged him anyway, spilling all over Guy’s shirt and making a sound unlike anything Guy had ever heard from him. 

After a long moment spent half collapsed against the crook of Guy’s neck, Kakashi kissed him again smiling wryly. “Not quite how I thought that would go.” 

Fair was fair. Guy kissed Kakashi again, more thoroughly, before asking. “How did you think it would go?” 

Instead of answering, Kakashi asked, “Don’t you want anything else?” a little plaintively. 

Boggling a little that Kakashi could want something else so quickly, Guy kissed him quickly, playing for time. It didn’t work. “Can you give me a hint, rival?” 

Huffing laughter against Guy’s lips, Kakashi smiled. “Do you want something Guy? Maybe to be wearing fewer clothes?” 

“Oh!” Guy was so hard, but it seemed like that had caused any number of problems earlier. Still, he was no coward. “You might, um, if you wanted to touch me?” 

Kakashi’s smile was so soft. His hands were infinitely gentle as they lifted Guy from the chair entirely. Perhaps a stronger man would have objected, but Guy had carried Kakashi more than once in his time. His pride was not hurt by being carried to bed, not when he could wrap his legs around Kakashi and shuck his clothes carelessly along the way. 

Firm but comfortable, Guy’s bed had no faults. Where Kakashi put his hands or mouth, the ache in Guy’s muscles disappeared. Had regaining the ability to masturbate pleased him? This was a pleasure he’d only ever been able to dream of, even in his prime. Yet Kakashi still hadn’t allowed his hands to go anywhere near Guy’s erection and, though he could only barely imagine losing passion while Kakashi was naked and pressing kisses to his chest, the fact was that Guy’s stamina was not what it had once been. Unfortunately, there was no polite way to ask Kakashi to move things along. Guy wondered if it would be unspeakably rude to take himself in hand, just until Kakashi got around to it of course. 

Waiting was better. 

Kakashi’s kisses trailed methodically down Guy’s abdomen until an excited twitch of Guy’s dick at the wrong moment poked earnestly against his throat. “Hmm?” Kakashi said as if Guy had spoken, but he didn’t look up to Guy’s eyes. His gaze was directed at the restraining hand Guy wrapped around his base to keep himself in check. 

“Are you quite sure,” Kakashi asked, his breath warm against Guy’s tip, his lips so close that Guy could practically feel them, “that you don’t want anything else?” 

“Oh! Suck my dick, rival.” Someone hip and cool like Kakashi would probably have phrased the words sarcastically. Kakashi would probably have preferred for Guy to say them in the breathless begging way that Kakashi had asked Guy to touch him. Guy couldn’t be anyone but himself, though, and the words had been a triumphant realization of what Kakashi wanted him to say. 

Clearly they were the right words, anyway. Kakashi looked up into his face with a big fond smile that only lasted a moment before his mouth closed around Guy with a tight wet heat. Eagerly, hungrily even, Kakashi swallowed Guy down, groaning helplessly as if Guy was the one doing something wonderful. One of his hands slid to the base of Guy’s cock as though he was going to take control, but when Guy let his own hand fall away toward the bed Kakashi tangled their fingers together. So they were holding hands sweetly even as Kakashi gripped Guy’s other hip like a vice. They were still holding hands as Guy gasped a warning which Kakashi ignored, sucking him ever deeper into the pleasurable sensations and away from the pain of his body. They were still holding hands when Kakashi dropped a kiss to Guy’s shoulder and flopped onto the pillow with the clumsy grace of the well fucked. 

“Love you, rival,” Guy managed to say softly, but then he fell asleep. 

They were still holding hands when he woke. Kakashi was still naked, but he looked as masked as ever, staring up at the ceiling expressionlessly. Guy didn’t want to interrupt his thoughts, but he did want to help. Gently squeezing the hand in his was a start. Sometimes Kakashi forgot that he wasn’t alone. 

“Rival?” 

Turning his face toward Guy, Kakashi didn’t bother to fake a smile. “I lost my first shinobi today,” he said quietly. Guy didn’t need to ask what he meant.

“Then our village has another hero,” Guy pointed out, trying to see a triumph in the tragedy. 

Kakashi snorted. “Yes. Another name engraved and another friend buried.” 

“A friend?” Guy was sure that he would have been notified if a classmate or companion of theirs had been taken. He was sure that Kakashi wouldn’t keep that from him. 

“ANBU,” Kakashi explained, looking down at their clasped hands. “No family. Older than Naruto. So it should have been an easy one.”

“Losing a subordinate is never easy. Especially if you can’t be on the front lines doing your best to protect your comrades.” 

“Exactly,” Kakashi said, his face full of pain. “I gave her the mission personally, and she succeeded. She succeeded and died on my orders, too far away to call me for help. It shouldn’t be this way. I never wanted to be Hokage.” 

“I know.” It surprised Guy a little that he did know. Kakashi had always trained hard, but he never sought personal advancement. He joined ANBU at the request of one Hokage and left it at the request of another. He took the most dangerous missions alone when he could, and he always sacrificed himself to protect others. “I’m sorry that this duty falls to you, but you’re the genius. You have to be the one to set the missions, or someone else will send out the wrong shinobi. Then Lee would be assigned to one of those dishonorable ANBU missions and I’d never forgive you.”

Another snort. “Or I could send him on a mission to his death tomorrow. Would you forgive me for that?” 

It was a hell of a question, but there was only one honest answer. “He is a shinobi of the Leaf and he will gladly give his life for the village. Even so, every Leaf has a choice to fail or to fall. I would be proud if he should fall while doing his duty as Neji did. My heart would break as yours does over not being at his side on that day, but I would be proud.” 

Feeling the press of lips on his temple, Guy looked up. He realized then that he’d been staring at their entwined hands without blinking for some time. 

“We’re at peace,” Kakashi said. “Unprecedented peace. I’ve been in office for eight months and I’ve only lost one subordinate. We won’t lose Lee.”

“No,” Guy agreed, offering a smile. He’d like to guarantee it with a nice guy pose, but he wasn’t in a position to make promises. Strangely, Kakashi asked him for one anyway. 

“And I have you here, in the village. You’re getting better, but it will still be a long time before you’re mission ready. Either way, you’re a teacher. I’ve seen you with Hinata as well as your own students. Not that you should waste your time at the academy or anything, but maybe another handful of genin when you’re ready?” 

“That would be something to look forward to,” Guy agreed, not sure what Kakashi was asking. “I’d like to watch other students grow the way Lee and Tenten have. The way Neji did.” 

“So you’ll stay close to the village as long as I’m Hokage,” Kakashi pressed, his eyes dark and intense, and Guy understood. 

“You won’t lose me rival,” he vowed. “It will be a long time before I’m good for anything other than my own training, but even then, you won’t lose me.” 

“You’re good for plenty,” Kakashi said, smiling at last and giving Guy a chaste kiss. 

Through the window, Guy could just see the golden light of dawn tripping over the red autumn leaves. A gentle gust of wind rustled a few away from the branches, tossing and toying with them on the way to the ground. The tree remained.

**Author's Note:**

> The mildly dubious consent in this story stems from the use of mind-control/illusions as a method of pain relief. When things turn sexual in the illusion, the person casting it freaks out about consent issues and backs off immediately, angsting as he goes because he's Kakashi. The point of view character is somewhat oblivious to these issues, because he's Guy, and he is, in fact, an enthusiastic participant in everything that occurs.


End file.
